At this point, I’ve found that:
I’ve turned a page in my life. I no longer feel “hysterical” about my life. Maybe it’s because we have Alex on more appropriate medications than the ones that were masking the issues; in turn making the severe behavioral issues we had been experiencing, and had increased, become more manageable. Maybe it’s because we finally have a clear set of diagnosis that actually make sense, and don’t leave us to research further into what’s “really” happening to him; we know now. We have a direction now. Maybe it’s because I’ve reached a little internal enlightenment. Maybe I’ve come to terms for what our life is now and may be in the future.
Maybe.
I’ve also found that there are more people in real life reading this blog than I realized and that may judge me and my family harsher than we deserve by my pouring myself out here. I can make my own bed and sleep in it (yes, I used that pun), but the rest of my family shouldn’t have to. They’ve had no control over what I do here.
This blog has afforded me much. The opportunity to purge the devastating emotions that I harbored each day with no outlet. It’s given me the ability to not only reach out, but be reached, as well as be educated and teach. The friends that I’ve made online are very precious to me, even the fleeting ones. Somehow, we all “get” each other. You all have supported me immensely whether here or on twitter, or in private emails.
This blog has also afforded me the opportunity to practice and re-discover the writer that struggled to be noticed when I was young; the writer that was silenced, then whispered, and now yells with a craving to be center stage. I’ve practiced here. I’ve defined my ‘style’ here. I’ve discovered what I want to “do” now…in this period of my life…that I hope continues into the next.
With all this said, this is the last post of General Hysteria. This is the last post of Mia Hysteria. Much of the writing will be taken down. I hope that I can keep in touch with many of you, others I will see, still others…I wish I could have met.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.
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