All posts in best of me

Desire, indulgent, pleasure, why have these tiny words become such bad unspoken phrases? I have lived off of a strict bread and no fun diet for a lonnnggggg time. A real long time. I figured if I restrict pleasure I will have a big grand life. Now, where in the world does that even make sense?

If you take away fun, you become smaller… But for some God forsaken reason something switch in my brain, and I believed for years that its best not to indulge. In anything. And I am not alone.

How many times do woman pass up dessert when out for dinner. Or let others go before them when they were the first in line. Worse of how many people have  passed up a great, once-in-a-life time event that they have been dreaming about for years, just because they have to work late.

I have been a victim of excusing myself from what I truly want. Making up excuses as why I shouldn’t, why I can’t, why I ought to never think about it. I got to the point I gave up sweets in itself because I didn’t figure I should have anything that tasty. Was I ever wrong.

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As per requested by a special person in my life, I am going to write about the differences between a favor and people pleasing. Because there is a big difference.

Before I begin, let me just admit that I have been a huge, guilty as charge, culprit of people-pleasing. That’s how I grew up, that is what I was taught, and that is what I witnessed for years.

“Always put others before yourself. Their happiness is more important than your own” is basically the message I would receive.

Through recent revaluations and by analyzing my whole life, I have come to see how backwards this message is. In actuality, it’s best to take care of yourself before helping others.

Don’t believe me? Go on any airplane, and what is the first instruction? In an event of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask (your lifeline) first before helping others. That makes sense because how can you help others when you, yourself, are half dead? Read more

There is a $20 daily tax fee for all New Yorkers. Meaning when you live in this city, the second you step outside to start your day, there goes $20 down the drain. Every single time. So when free stuff happens, it is a pretty exciting miracle.

Here is what’s going on now, that won’t cost you  a pretty penny.

1) Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversation exhibit at the Met. I love the Metropolitan Museum of Art, for the mere fact it is gorgeous, houses some of the most incredible masterpieces, and it is only suggested-donation based. Now through August 19th, the Schiaparelli and Prada exhibit is on display.

You can see the amazing similarities in the two Italian women designers, even though decades separated them in time. Learn about what was influential back in the late 1930′s and how it has carried over to modern times. After the exhibit head up to the Met rooftop on the 6th floor and take in the views of central park and fifth avenue. Nothing gets better than this in the summer time.

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It was one of those days. Worked hard, worked fast, and burnt out by 5:30. So as a treat, I walked my pretty little self to Henri Bendels. My Mecca, for all I am concerned. As I browsed the second floor of beautiful handbags and glistening necklaces, I met a friendly, bright lady named Debbie Liu.

She just happens to be an amazing up-and-coming jewelry designer whose featured in Bendels trunk show. The brand is called Harlequin & Lionhead. What caught my eye was the intricate detailing of her rings, they resemble little roses carefully modeled with precision.

Her collection featured necklaces in the same nature. As well as adjustable rings that left a small opening on top. I tried on the adjustable ring (photo above) and the flowers looked like they were simply resting on my finger. Read more


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A month of jury duty, moving into a new apartment and starting a new job, pretty much sums up where we left off. Its been a wild and crazy ride the last thirty days. I have learned a lot (re jury duty), I have gained a lot , but mostly I have met a lot of incredible people. And now I am completely and utterly drained.

Which brings up the question, how do you make it through such a crazy packed schedule? Best yet, how do you make time for yourself when there seems to be little time to spare?

My answer, I have no freaking clue. I get anxious, stressed, sleepless and borderline delusional just like everyone else. I have not master the zen way of doing things. But I have discovered ways to lessen the load along the way and make a bit of time for myself in order to stay sane. And this is how: Read more

Influenced by the clip ‘Treat Yo’ Self’ by a friend at Joyful Shimmy, I have decided to hit the streets and do some research. On what? Cupcakes! What else is taking NYC by storm?


Here is what I discovered and I am not holding back :

1) Buttercup Bakeshop- on 2nd Ave between 52nd and 51st street

Cupcake: Chocolate with vanilla icing

Atmosphere: cute bakeshop/ diner feel small. The service could have been better. You can tell they hated their job

Taste: creamy buttery icing and not too sweet but the cake was disgusting.

Price: $2.50 Read more

After hitting that breaking point of people pleasing, over giving, and bending over backwards for people, I entered into the word of ME, MYSELF, and I. And it is the best thing I have ever done. Switching off my cell phone for periods of time ( and not just 15 mins, more like 6 hours) was the emotional equivalent of a face lift. It rejuvenated my soul. I finally relaxed, and enjoyed ‘me’ time.

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This past weekend, I was with my two best friends at a local bar celebrating one of their birthday’s. In the midst of talking, catching up, and being goofy, my best friend turned to me and so caring asked, “Ellese, when will it be ever okay for you to just stay still and be?”. It was so shockingly beautiful, because I knew where she was coming from and it has been a question I’ve asked myself.

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