The moment we see something we instantly judge whether it is positive or negative. We do this all the time, automatically and preconsciously, to everything around us.
All input is directly classified as either good or bad. Whether we appreciate specific input as really good or good (or really bad or just bad) does not really matter for this classification.
This has enormous implications. If you want it or not, everybody you encounter is immediately classified as either good or bad. The impact on your subsequent judgments is huge, and this influences how you behave towards a person or object.
Most people want to be unprejudiced about differences in race, age, or employment. The problem with automatic judgments is that they are not based on what we want to think, but on what we have experienced over and over again. All the negative news in newspapers, all the jokes and remarks made by people around you: they all weigh in on your experience. This means that we cannot escape having stereotypes about most people.
Sometimes I am aware of my own negative judgment. One way to experience this is by doing an Implicit Association Test. It is horrible to feel my own prejudice in the slowness of my response. Go see if you have prejudice on gender and race.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about dreams. The ones I have. Those I can’t remember. Why don’t I dream much lately? Why do I only remember nightmares? Recurring dreams I’ve had lately and the ones I remember from being very small. I don’t know why it’s been on my mind so much, but I was inspired to post about it while I was visiting my buddy at Move Over Mary Poppins and reading a post about a dream she had.
It used to be that I dreamed all the time, and when I did, I could remember them vividly, in technicolor detail. Now, if I remember a dream it’s because it was horrifying. Granted, these don’t come along very often. I just can’t see the justice in only recalling the bad ones.
All this wondering brought to mind a recurring nightmare I had when I was young. Very, very young. I wasn’t old enough to have many memories from the time period aside from this dream. I must have been 2 or 3 years old. No. Probably older, because I just remembered the bike. It was white with pink stars on the seat and streamers on the handlebars.
Maybe I was 4. This bike was my getaway vehicle that starred in this particular dream. On the bike, going as fast as I could with my short little legs, pedaling with ferocity and “running” for my life, I teetered along a ledge that ran the perimeter of a very tall building. This thing I was trying to get away from was a pink “Popples” type anomaly.
I want to thank everyone for your wonderful comments on my last post about Tom Cruise. I was pissed as all hell when I wrote that and I thought that I would share a little with you about why.
As I mentioned in that post, I have dealt with manic depression. As a matter of fact, I have battled it most of my life. When I was a teenager, I didn’t have a clue what was wrong with me. All I knew is that I felt like I was on a roller coaster. Up one minute, down the next. My mother used to joke that it was the Gemini in me, I had two personalities. I was filled with self-loathing and my behavior was very self-destructive.
It wasn’t until I left my second husband that I finally got a diagnosis for my problem. You see, depression is not something that a person readily wants to admit. There is still a stigma attached to mental illness. It took a lot for me to admit to myself that I had a mental problem.
I received treatment, part of which involved taking an anti-depressant. In fact, I took Paxil, the same medication that Brooke Shields has been taking. I am not currently on medication as my symptoms have improved, but you better believe that if the need arises again, I will not hesitate to get another prescription.
Yes I write a lot about relationships and general everyday life but let’s get the record straight: Sometimes I am a quick learner and other times I am painfully slow at getting the point. When it comes to jobs and tasks I learn fast. Learning how to play the piano, be a great field hockey player, or write an excellent paper- I am speedy Gonzales in picking that stuff up.
But when it comes to the scope of life, and relationships it can take yearrrssss. I can be knocked over by the lesson time and time again but it could take me five years to understand the message. For me, it looks like this: there are days where I have a moment of clarity and the light bulb goes off. And it occurs in the most random unexpected places. Like when I am in the shower or ordering lunch. I am not kidding.
Employers are quickly becoming aware of the importance of supplying their employees with ergonomic workstations. Creating an employee customizable ergonomic workspace will not only lead to a happy employee ready and willing to work, but it will also ensure employees are not subjected to an environment which can aggravate existing or establish new health problems.
As the civilized world is moving workers out of the factory and into the office, health problems associated with typing and working at a computer are becoming far more prevalent. So if you do not know how to avoid RSI at work, along with the several other office health complaints – read on.
I am 34 years old and no, I don’t think I know everything, but there are 10 things I’ve learned to accept about myself. Some I am proud of, most I am indifferent about, and few I just don’t care if you like it or not. This is me! And I am not conforming for anyone… (except for myself if it makes me happy)
10) I am not a club person. I don’t like waiting in lines in weird, cold, rainy, hot, humid weather wearing uncomfortable clothes and 6-inch heels just to get into a dark, crowded, poorly lit box. Every once in awhile, it is fine.
But what I really love is an indie type, off the beaten path, fun, new experience that I can share with good friends. I love a place where I can laugh, hear live music, and relax while being at ‘ah’ by my surroundings.
9) I love talking and meeting new people. Love love love it! I am the happiest when I meet an awesome person that I can relate to or can learn from. I am also drawn to individuals who seem a little shy or quiet.
Since high school (which I actually didn’t finish-I later got my GED in an easy way), I have gone over to anyone who seems to themselves and start up a conversation in order to let them know they are cared about. I want to bring everyone together and make sure no one is left out.
Wait-what? Before you google it, wiki it, or bing-it (but seriously who really uses bing?), let me explain the best I can. As a grad school grad from an unknown career (Occupational therapy), I’ll gladly explain for you with no cost just like an unpaid internship. Something I’m very familiar with, unfortunately.
Let’s start with: Occupation. First off, when I use occupation I mean it as being an activity that is both purposeful and meaningful. This can vary from anything from getting dressed in the morning to a hobby such as cooking or skiing. These occupations are not only essential to sustaining your life and allowing you to work but also promote wellness, identity, and mindfulness. Before you think this is “hippie-dippie hug circle” insanity, let me use an example.
One of my favorite occupations is cooking. Now cooking obviously is correlated to health as it determines what goes in and out of my body. However, how I genuinely enjoy the creative process of cooking determines how I prioritize my schedule and how I use cooking to engage with myself and others.
To: Corporate chieftains, venture capitalists, investor relations departments, startups, and underwriters: Keep your nose clean because the best enemy you’ve ever had is going to keep sniffing around. Your future depends on it. The success of American business requires strong capital formation. Entrepreneurial spirit, technological innovation, and a motivated workforce are useless without the ability to raise money. Just take a look at this 2016 video of President Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, and a few Entrepreneurs, I’m still impressed:
The reason the United States is the king of capital formation is because investors think they are not playing a rigged game. Investing in the public financial market requires investors to trust their money — retirement savings, college funds — to the skills of people they can’t meet and to businesses they can’t visit. That’s a huge amount of trust for 50 million people to place, and they do it routinely.
Investors would not trust the market without lawyers and journalists, the twin banes of your existence. I spent thirteen years as a class action lawyer and two years as a business writer. My personal contributions have been minor, but I have seen the inside of both businesses. I know their faults and excesses, but I also know their massive role in making it possible for you to raise money. And this is not ony true for men. Women know that too!
What Is Suffering? Have you ever asked yourself what it is that makes you unhappy? What is it that makes you suffer? Why do you suffer? What triggers suffering?
These questions might sound philosophical or too spiritual for your liking, but if you take the time to think about these questions you’ll notice that they are immensely important if you want to find lasting happiness.
Why? Suffering is what keeps us from being happy. In other words, it is important to know what that roadblock, suffering, is and how to find your way around it to find happiness.
Suffering Is Part Of Our Conditioning
If you’ve had a serious setback, it can be difficult to feel happy. However, that doesn’t mean suffering is the only other option. A setback most often interferes with our plans, dreams, and goals, and that is one of the reasons why people see a setback as negative and associate it with suffering. The real reason is much more fundamental, but I’ll talk more about that in a future post.
Preparing for the interview de-stresses the scenario substantially. 78% of all nominees – no matter the amount for which they are interviewing – wing it! And often cause themselves to be weeded out along the way.
Like so much apparently innocent questions can trip you up. You believe you’re replying themselves the way that puts you in the greatest light, but you’d be amazed at just how many people totally miss the boat. Merely to expect an interview has an optimistic consequence is not enough. That’s basically forfeiting your capacity to drive up the percent of an optimistic outcome.
As an example, in response to the question, “Why do you want to work here?” some people will say things including:
“I’ve worked in this industry for 15 years and been quite successful. The people feel I can really make a difference. The people have a proven history of direction. The people have read in the paper that the business is having some problems, and with my experience as a Director of XXXXX, I will help straighten those out.”