What Is Suffering? Have you ever asked yourself what it is that makes you unhappy? What is it that makes you suffer? Why do you suffer? What triggers suffering?
These questions might sound philosophical or too spiritual for your liking, but if you take the time to think about these questions you’ll notice that they are immensely important if you want to find lasting happiness.
Why? Suffering is what keeps us from being happy. In other words, it is important to know what that roadblock, suffering, is and how to find your way around it to find happiness.
Suffering Is Part Of Our Conditioning
If you’ve had a serious setback, it can be difficult to feel happy. However, that doesn’t mean suffering is the only other option. A setback most often interferes with our plans, dreams, and goals, and that is one of the reasons why people see a setback as negative and associate it with suffering. The real reason is much more fundamental, but I’ll talk more about that in a future post.
Preparing for the interview de-stresses the scenario substantially. 78% of all nominees – no matter the amount for which they are interviewing – wing it! And often cause themselves to be weeded out along the way.
Like so much apparently innocent questions can trip you up. You believe you’re replying themselves the way that puts you in the greatest light, but you’d be amazed at just how many people totally miss the boat. Merely to expect an interview has an optimistic consequence is not enough. That’s basically forfeiting your capacity to drive up the percent of an optimistic outcome.
As an example, in response to the question, “Why do you want to work here?” some people will say things including:
“I’ve worked in this industry for 15 years and been quite successful. The people feel I can really make a difference. The people have a proven history of direction. The people have read in the paper that the business is having some problems, and with my experience as a Director of XXXXX, I will help straighten those out.”
Matt Madeiro at Three New Leaves recently released a free ebook called Simpler. It’s a practical, to the point guide on simplifying your life along with plenty of personal anecdotes on how he did it himself.
I met Matt when I emailed him to share my love of coconut related product (coconut oil, coconut water, coconut milk, etc) as a means to get healthier. He was kind enough to remind me not to discount coconut flakes (what was I thinking?), and to talk more about primal fitness, minimalism, and blogging as a whole. He also knows how nervous I was about blogging and just being honest and speaking the real truth about who I am.
Until recently, I thought being vulnerable was overrated, now I know it’s the opposite. It was largely his complete openness about anything I wanted to ask and his thoughtful responses that pushed me along to the next steps in my journey. Now that initial anxiety seems so incidental.
Those experiences showed Matt and his resource Simpler are good case studies of leading by example. See for yourself by checking out his post on how he got in the best shape of his life eating simpler. And while eating bacon and butter and loads of other stuff. Fair warning, it will annoy you if you’re leading a low-fat, low-carb, high cardio work-out lifestyle.
In my history class, I was surprised to learn that International Workers’ Day, also known as May Day, actually has its origins here in the United States.
Yeah. I had assumed for a long time that it was a holiday celebrated in communist countries like Cuba or the former Soviet Union. Boy, was I surprised to learn differently.
It was the very dawning of day when the term ‘dignity of labor’ meant something. ~ George E. McNeill
Over 100 years ago, workers had 10 to 16-hour workdays in really unsafe conditions right here in America. People died and were seriously injured on the job, which inspired Upton Sinclair to write The Jungle and our very own local hero Jack London to write The Iron Heel.
And, for this, at the end of the week, he will carry home three dollars to his family, being his pay at the rate of five cents per hour –
just about his proper share of the million and three-quarters of children who are now engaged in earning their livings in the United States.
~ Upton Sinclair
HAPPY EARTH DAY!
And also, Happy Good Friday (?) and Happy Passover, and tomorrow is Earth Day! If one wishes happiness on those days. But regardless, my sentiment to you is have a great day. It’s Friday on a very Holy weekend. Let’s celebrate what we’ve got:
- We’ve got the Earth, which is all pretty and covered in spring blossoms and stuff
- We’ve got wonderful and strong beliefs – no matter what those beliefs specifically are. They’re all great!
- We’ve got friends and family
- We’ve got Starbucks giving out free coffee today!
Does this post sound a bit trite to you? It’s sounding trite to me. But you know what? It’s spring, it’s Friday, and I’m happy. So I don’t care of this is a bit trite.
Well, this is going to be a fun wrap up. And also brief! Since my good old half mary on Sunday, I have not run a single mile. It wasn’t because I didn’t feel like it – in fact, I would have given anything to hit the trails. It wasn’t because the weather wasn’t conducive – we had a 60-degree day, snow, all sorts of my favorite outdoor conditions.
I didn’t run a single mile aside my 2.13 because…
I hurt myself.
Yes, I can officially say I’m a runner now, because I am fairly certain that I blew out my ankle thanks to my awesome running form last weekend.
My boss snapped at me today. I hate when he does that. It makes me hate being at a job that I actually really enjoy. Just those two or three seconds of disrespect can wash away years of great communication and camaraderie. I know, he’s studying so hard for his MBA (it’s all online and pretty affordable he says), and this may affect his behavior, but still…
Maybe a less sensitive person can just brush it aside. But I can’t. For me, those few seconds stay in my mind and slowly build into a rage. That is, if I don’t do something about it right away.
I waited about an hour or so and went into his office. I said something light to start a dialogue. He laughed and engaged. Then I just blurted out, “is everything OK between us?” Fortunately, he’s used to this kind of question because over the years of working together I’ve made us “talk it out” anytime I’ve sensed tension or conflict.
I don’t think I really understood the full extent of the words “anger management” until I became a mother. I understood the words separately (trust me, I really understood anger growing up in a family where all emotions were on the table all the time) but I didn’t understand them together or more precisely the importance of having them together when you have children.
One of the downsides of having children (oh yes, there are downsides and anyone that tells you there aren’t either doesn’t have children or is lying) is that you have to give up the freedom to express your anger any way you damn well please.
Oh no, when you have children you have to learn an entirely new way to deal with anger (at least in front of them). Children, especially small children, don’t understand your anger and interpret it only one way, directed at them. And especially in our family that’s challenging as one of our three needs special care.
So when your toddler won’t stop screaming no matter what you do and you’re at a breaking point where anger is rapidly building up like a fiery volcano in your throat, you have to take a deep breath and figure out a way to stop yourself from exploding. It’s not easy. Well, it might be easy for some but God knows it’s not easy for me. And I have enough experience. But being a mom is even more difficult when it comes to being polite when you are just angry.
Desire, indulgent, pleasure, why have these tiny words become such bad unspoken phrases? I have lived off of a strict bread and no fun diet for a lonnnggggg time. A real long time. I figured if I restrict pleasure I will have a big grand life. Now, where in the world does that even make sense?
If you take away fun, you become smaller… But for some God forsaken reason something switch in my brain, and I believed for years that its best not to indulge. In anything. And I am not alone.
How many times do woman pass up dessert when out for dinner? Or let others go before them when they were the first in line. Worse of how many people have passed up a great, once-in-a-lifetime event that they have been dreaming about for years, just because they have to work late.
I have been a victim of excusing myself from what I truly want. Making up excuses as for why I shouldn’t, why I can’t, why I ought to never think about it. I got to the point I gave up sweets in itself because I didn’t figure I should have anything that tasty. Was I ever wrong…
Before I begin, let me just admit that I have been a huge, guilty as charged, culprit of people-pleasing. That’s how I grew up, that is what I was taught, and that is what I witnessed for years.
“Always put others before yourself. Their happiness is more important than your own” is basically the message I would receive.
Through recent evaluations and by analyzing my whole life, I have come to see how backward this message is. In actuality, it’s best to take care of yourself before helping others.
Don’t believe me? Go on an airplane, and what is the first instruction? In an event of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask (your lifeline) first before helping others. That makes sense because how can you help others when you, yourself, are half dead? READ MORE