I don’t think I really understood the full extent of the words “anger management” until I became a mother. I understood the words separately (trust me, I really understood anger growing up in a family where all emotions were on the table all the time) but I didn’t understand them together or more precisely the importance of having them together when you have children.

One of the downsides of having children (oh yes, there are downsides and anyone that tells you there aren’t either doesn’t have children or is lying) is that you have to give up the freedom to express your anger any way you damn well please.

Oh no, when you have children you have to learn an entirely new way to deal with anger (at least in front of them). Children, especially small children, don’t understand your anger and interpret it only one way, directed at them. And especially in our family that’s challenging as one of our three needs special care.

So when your toddler won’t stop screaming no matter what you do and you’re at a breaking point where anger is rapidly building up like a fiery volcano in your throat, you have to take a deep breath and figure out a way to stop yourself from exploding. It’s not easy. Well, it might be easy for some but God knows it’s not easy for me. And I have enough experience. But being a mom is even more difficult when it comes to being polite when you are just angry.

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Desire, indulgent, pleasure, why have these tiny words become such bad unspoken phrases? I have lived off of a strict bread and no fun diet for a lonnnggggg time. A real long time. I figured if I restrict pleasure I will have a big grand life. Now, where in the world does that even make sense?

If you take away fun, you become smaller… But for some God forsaken reason something switch in my brain, and I believed for years that its best not to indulge. In anything. And I am not alone.

How many times do woman pass up dessert when out for dinner. Or let others go before them when they were the first in line. Worse of how many people have  passed up a great, once-in-a-life time event that they have been dreaming about for years, just because they have to work late.

I have been a victim of excusing myself from what I truly want. Making up excuses as why I shouldn’t, why I can’t, why I ought to never think about it. I got to the point I gave up sweets in itself because I didn’t figure I should have anything that tasty. Was I ever wrong.

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As per requested by a special person in my life, I am going to write about the differences between a favor and people pleasing. Because there is a big difference.

Before I begin, let me just admit that I have been a huge, guilty as charge, culprit of people-pleasing. That’s how I grew up, that is what I was taught, and that is what I witnessed for years.

“Always put others before yourself. Their happiness is more important than your own” is basically the message I would receive.

Through recent revaluations and by analyzing my whole life, I have come to see how backwards this message is. In actuality, it’s best to take care of yourself before helping others.

Don’t believe me? Go on any airplane, and what is the first instruction? In an event of an emergency, put on your oxygen mask (your lifeline) first before helping others. That makes sense because how can you help others when you, yourself, are half dead? Read more

I would like to let you know that I am terrible at introductions and talking about myself. I feel like whenever I have to do it, I say the same things over and over and it gets quite tiring. I’m also not one who likes to draw attention to oneself, so that’s also probably another contributing factor.

I’m now in my mid-thirties. One word you could use to describe me is geek. Though anymore that term is used really loosely, I’m pretty sure I could count as one. I like technology and I can learn pretty much any device quickly.

When I was five or six I taught myself how to do things on my dad’s work laptop. I’m also one of those rare people who loves both designing and programming. I’m helping youth who don’t have a high school diploma get their GED through a great and free online prep course. When they have their GED, they can move ahead faster!

LIFESTYLE

I’m am an avid shopper when I have the money. I do this thing called “retail therapy”, which may not be the best kind of therapy, but it does help.

Top 5 things I will shop for: Read more

Employers are quickly becoming aware of the importance of supplying their employees with ergonomic work stations. Creating an employee customizable ergonomic work space will not only lead to a happy employee ready and willing to work, but it will also ensure employees are not subjected to an environment which can aggravate existing or establish new health problems.

As the civilized world is moving workers out of the factory and into the office, health problems associated with typing and working at a computer are becoming far more prevalent. So if you do not know how to avoid RSI at work, along with the several other office health complaints – read on.

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shutterstock_125888855Have you ever noticed how many doctors there are in the world?

Ok … obviously I am not literally talking about doctors. But I’m amazed how people become doctors without ever having to go to school.

You might be shaking your head or disagreeing with me.  But think about it.

You don’t feel well.  A friend/colleague/coworker/spouse/family member asks what is wrong and you tell them your head/foot/shoulder/big toe hurt.  They may ask a follow up question, they may not. Regardless, they are almost certain to tell you (a) what is wrong with you and (b) how to treat it.

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Yesterday was my birthday.  I turned 34, perhaps the most boring age on the planet.  34 is no different from 33.  Now 35?  That’s an important birthday–officially on the downward slope to 40.

Oddly enough, I spent the night before my birthday making a birthday cake for someone else.  Even more odd, I took it to a birthday party that wasn’t for me or the person whose cake I was making.

It was a surprise party for my husband’s grandmother, who thought she was coming to my birthday party (though I suspect she wasn’t really buying that.)  It was very sweet because her daughter, who lives in China, came in for the occasion and she wasn’t expecting that.  The look on her face was priceless.

Anyway, the cake.  I know you want a picture.  I will oblige.  It is a “sewing” theme cake and one that I made up as I went along.  I think it turned out pretty cute.

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We can’t catch a break.  Molly is sick.  AGAIN.  Strep this time.  The other four are coughing, have stomach aches, and the general yuckies.  This time, even the husband got sick and I’m still coughing (though I wouldn’t be if I could remember to take that darn allergy medicine.)

I had to call into work again, for two days.  Depending on what the doctor says about the other four kids tomorrow, I may have to call in for more.  I feel terrible about it.

I’ve missed A LOT of work this year.  Every time I call in, my stomach does these little flip-flops.  I just know they think I’m lying.  After all, whose kids get sick every other week?

Mine, obviously.  With five of them in the house, it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s all the same illness from October, just slowly making the rounds.  Once it grounds one, it moves on to the next, and so on and so forth.  We are the revolving door of bacteria.

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I’ve never had a serious relationship. Ever. By serious, I mean long. I don’t mean serious, as in bed time fun.It’s not something I dwell on, though. I don’t sit here and wish a man would come into my life, and sweep me off my feet. I like being single. I like to flirt. I love not having any qualms about chatting a guy up.

But then again, I don’t know any different. Would it still be OK to do all that in a serious relationship? Because if not, count me out for the time being. Sometimes I daydream about certain people who I could see myself in a relationship with. Sometimes I enjoy imagining what it would be like to come home to someone on an evening, and curling up with them on the sofa.

But I also enjoy flirting with certain people without any strings attached, without worrying about saying something wrong.And why do I sit here writing this? Because I’ve noticed, now that I’ve turned 23, that there is this expectation that I should be in a relationship. One of the first questions asked of me when I was getting to know my new colleagues was, “So, are you seeing someone?” I’m the only single person out of a 6 person team.

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Coffee-Roaster-cupBecause this is gunna be a long one! I’ll try to be as concise as I can, but whoo boy what a weekend. I’m almost glad to be back at work, because maybe I can relax a little bit. I haven’t updated in several days and I need to catch up.

Friday, my soul sister in shopping and I met up for lunch and shopping in the Newbury St./Copley area. From minute one until we parted ways, after meeting my husband Friday afternoon, I don’t think we stopped chattering, not even once.

Talk about talkers! I never thought I would meet my shopping match – my sister comes close – but boy did I ever! Long story short, we had a super fun time, the weather was just perfect for strolling, and many a designer purse came home with us. Oh right, and earrings. Oh right, and Lush products. I’ll stop there. Read more