I’ve never had a serious relationship. Ever. By serious, I mean long. I don’t mean serious, as in bedtime fun. It’s not something I dwell on, though. I don’t sit here and wish a man would come into my life, and sweep me off my feet. I like being single. I like to flirt. I love not having any qualms about chatting a guy up.
But then again, I don’t know any different. Would it still be OK to do all that in a serious relationship? Because if not, count me out for the time being. Sometimes I daydream about certain people who I could see myself in a relationship with. Sometimes I enjoy imagining what it would be like to come home to someone on an evening, and curling up with them on the sofa.
But I also enjoy flirting with certain people without any strings attached, without worrying about saying something wrong. And why do I sit here writing this? Because I’ve noticed, now that I’ve turned 23, that there is this expectation that I should be in a relationship. One of the first questions asked of me when I was getting to know my new colleagues was, “So, are you seeing someone?” I’m the only single person out of a 6 person team.
And 3 of them are the same age as me, and have well and truly settled down. Did I go wrong somewhere, should I get angry? What did I do to deserve this? Did I miss out on a chance to have that? Or has it just not come along yet? Am I not making enough effort to get that chance? Am I not thinking about it enough? Or am I thinking too much about it?
Who knows? But I’m definitely not sat here missing out on anything. You can’t miss what you’ve never had, right? But at this moment in time, I love being single. I have a great life, doing exactly what I wanted to do. My career is everything to me, and I’m on that path. And I’m extremely lucky, I know that. I’m not going to dwell on something that hasn’t happened yet. Cheers to being single!
I’m such a rubbish blogger, but sometimes I don’t feel the need unless I have something burning on my brain and, well, tonight I do.
I’m having a huge urge to lose weight again – I’m in the “Overweight” category of the BMI which doesn’t depress me; I love my curves and my wobbly bits! The thing that worries me is that I’m further towards the “Obese” range than I am the “Normal” one. I lost loads of weight back in 2006 and the feeling of dropping dress sizes and looking in a mirror at a flat stomach motivated me a lot.
Then I started to feel very happy and contented with myself, got stuck in a rut, and started eating lots again. I’m not back to the weight I was pre-weight loss and I’ve been a steady weight for almost a year – I just don’t like where all the new fat has gone. Thighs, stomach, arms – granted, my face doesn’t look like a bouncing ball anymore, but it still get’s to me!
The thing I can’t decide is who I am doing it for. Am I doing it for myself to feel good? Am I doing it for other people so I fit in? Am I doing it so people look at me differently? I don’t know. I don’t want to change for anyone but it’s always nice to feel that people notice you more if you look a certain way.
All I know is that I want to lose weight. This is not a diet – bad, BAD word. If you’re on a diet, it’s temporary. This is all about eating the same foods but less of them. Exercising but in such a way that it doesn’t feel like a chore. Drinking plenty of fluids, and gorging on fruit and vegetables – that’s what I’m talking about!
To your right is my weight loss progress. I’ll try to keep most things related to that in there, but I will post a full blog about it if I so wish – after all, I’ll need some support right?? Until the next time when I’ll mostly be eating apples and seeds (not), see ya!